Give and Take

I was driving home today and got a phone call. The wording in the call got my mind spinning. I then started to stew. Now I am bubbling over. So you get to hear me vent today, because I use my blog as my journal. I express myself openly on here for people to read, judge, and make decisions on who I am and what I do. So today’s post is for no one but myself to vent. Is that clear?
I am so sick and tired. I have always admired my Grandma Ruth for being a very kind, sweet, soft spoken person that never really had anything negative to say. My Grandma Alice was the life of the party and kind. My mom is also sweet and is a caregiver like myself.
Then there is me. Mike made a comment on my 10 years of teaching post that hit home with me. “Helping others.” Your right. I do help others. That’s my job. To take care of, nurture, and guide children. I also host a ride to raise money for breast cancer. So when I am not helping kids I am raising money for breast cancer. Huh……. I guess I do give a lot.
My problem is what I take. I try to help the kids and I get attitude because they don’t feel like doing PE that day. I have a problem with a student or their grade is low. I call home and try to be as gentle and kind as I can be talking to the parent and I get yelled at. I have problems in my life and people that have nothing to do with it feel they have the right to treat me poorly when I have never done anything wrong and then say “ I am sorry if YOU felt I …….” Uh huh. I am tired of being nice to people and getting the shaft. I am tired of putting myself out on the line to take it from everyone. My riding, my anything. I am going through a lot right now and for some strange reason I may want to do something for myself. Something my broken soul needs. When I love, I love with all I am. Doing so, lends itself to the person getting hurt deeply. I don’t want to be the kind of person that after they get hurt they are more guarded. I want to love fully. I want to give myself and be loved equally in return. Respect. Just because I like to give does not mean I like to give in. I am tired of that. I am done with that. Balance. Peace. Calm. Let me be me. Let me shine. Let me show you the world through my eyes. Smile. Think of the positive things. Don’t grind me down to a pulp.



My song to vent with.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-ounk0FNdY



Some positive things people like to hear now and then.......


You look nice today
I miss you
Have a nice day
I’m proud of you
Job well done
Thank you
You’re so funny
Glad to see you
Best ever